Couplehood Kindness

11/25/2012

kindnessCould there even be a lasting ‘couple’ without kindness? Without empathy and patience and respect? Without true love of self and others?

Love requires feelings for another so strong we acknowledge its importance and nurture it with care.

If you are single and enjoying it, good on you! I spent years in that space and I believe we must give thanks for each stage we are at in life. And if you are single and wish not to be, continue to focus on kindness. With yourself and others. As it turned out, I had to wait many years to find my life mate, but I always held on to hope – because it was something I wanted that much.

a good marriageLasting partnership has always been my heart’s true calling. A life-pairing to cherish and work on. Although – as so often happens – ‘work’ is not really the right word. It is not, or shouldn’t be, work.

A more fitting description is very much like how I look at gardening. It is something that needs regular attention. Tending. But it is not work. I enjoy tending my garden, and I enjoy tending my partnership. Many years of solitude as well as my natural personality traits find me having to stretch out of my comfort zone to talk of personal things. About how I am feeling or how he is feeling. But it is something that simply must be done. Like pulling the weeds from a garden.

good marriage unionI do want to know how he is doing, and how we are doing. And I want to let him know how I am doing, because if I am not feeling 100% I want him to know why, and that it isn’t about him. I cherish this partnership, this marriage, and I give thanks everyday for this life mate I am blessed to share my life with. He gives me strength and security, as well as hope and wings. May all be so blessed. 

24 responses to Couplehood Kindness

  1. 

    What a beautiful post! I’ll hit 40 years married this summer. Can hardly believe it. I don’t feel that old!

    • 

      😀 Congratulations!!! And your ‘I don’t feel that old’ makes me laugh because looking up to my tall adult sons also has me feeling that way! But 40 years? Wow. Well done!

  2. 

    Wow, Gina! I am currently single, and I’ve been single most of my life but I have hope that I’ll find the right partner eventually. Sometimes i don’t know how or when or where i will find him, but I’m sure it’s taking time because I am special and I know he will be, too. Reading this from you reminded me to never lose hope, so thanks!!

    • 

      Erika, dear heart, how wonderful to see that my post did exactly what I hoped ~ it offered inspiration of true love coming! Indeed, never lose hope but rather cling to the knowledge that the mate you imagine at your side will materialize when the time is right. Oh it’s so hard to not sound cliche, but it really does happen all in the right time. Hugs to you! Gina

  3. 

    I absolutely love the word ‘life mate’! There is something about it that also says: “Dude, you gotta be thankful for him/her.” Love keep the hearts going, keeps the marriage ever new–just like the very first time.

    I love this post! It makes me want to say Hakuna Matata! Thanks, Gina. Wish you and family the very best.

    • 

      Uzoma, your comments always end up with me grinning ear to ear, or laughing in shared cheer! Hakuna Matata indeed, my friend. Yes we must be thankful for those who we love, and cherish the fact that they love us too! Let us all remember to keep the marriage ever new. Thank you, and wishing you and yours the very best as well. Blessings, Gina

  4. 

    beautiful and wise perspective. I love my marriage and partnership, even when there are some weeds that need pulling.

  5. 
    strokedtolife 11/25/2012 at 11:01 pm

    I love the term “tending” instead of saying “marriage is work”- work does not sound very appealing and no one intends to actually work for the rest of their life and it sounds difficult. Tending sounds appealing and like something that, while it may require some elbow grease, might be fun.

    • 

      Yes that’s it exactly! While a little elbow grease is required at times with worthy projects, it might be fun! Well put. Thank you for your delightful and supportive comment. I am so glad you enjoyed this post. Hugs, Gina

  6. 

    Lovely thoughts. I really like the gardening metaphor!

  7. 

    beautiful post Gina…..

  8. 

    You’re right it shouldn’t be work. You are blessed and shared your thoughts to blessed others with hope.

  9. 

    Indeed when our work no longer remains that and becomes a much more intrinsic part of who we are, we discover passion. This is a blessed state and we need to recognise and appreciate that.

    Cheers

    Shakti

  10. 

    Wonderful! Love the imagery: tending a garden. A garden has seasons, is ever changing, ever the same…

  11. 

    You are so blessed. I am happy for your happiness. My marriage is nothing like this post and I so wish it was.

  12. 

    Beautifully said, my friend. You have shared a huge amount of wisdom in your post.

    Russ