I am a passionate person. Whatever I undertake, I put my all into it. When I was a child I adored swinging and wanted to swing right over the bar. I loved perfecting my swing technique and being as fast and strong as possible. That moment of weightlessness at the top of the arc was worth everything. It felt like flying.
My way of guiding my creativity sometimes results in a lack of balance. I will grab onto an idea and research it for hours. I am tenacious about whatever I set out to do. With my blogging, after six months of building and maintaining two blogs, and nearly 200 posts and 3000 comments later, I am longing for balance. Even now in my forties I see that I am still the kind of person who tends to swing into extremes. I can only hope that in growing older, or growing ‘up’, I observe my own behaviors more quickly than in the past. I want to calm the ‘pendulum swing’ that goes too far one way and then pulls back too far in the opposite direction. This time, unlike playground swings, I intend to remain closer to the center.
I intend to carve out a section of time for enjoying the community and creative process that is the wonderful world of blogging. And then be able to step away. An hour for the ‘socializing’ section of replying, visiting and commenting on other’s blogs, then an hour or so for creating some thoughtful posts, and then signing off and stepping away. Rather than two or more hours socializing, three or six hours researching and writing my posts, and then signing back on within the same day to reply to any comments and reciprocating with Likes.
I’ve asked other bloggers ‘How do you do it?!’ but I know it is something I have to find balance in for myself. We are all so different. Some can keep charts for who they follow and return for visits with many Likes and Comments on a cycle, and others are able to easily find balance between working at home, family, and interests along with daily blog posts.
Balance doesn’t come easily for me. Perhaps it’s from my over-zealousness. Although I have occasionally posted a few ‘posters’ about my latest themes, generally my posts are essays about personal and heartfelt issues, or long-researched topics that generate great passion in me. I draft and re-draft and then re-draft again. My work habits developed after decades of administrative management rise to the surface in the guise of perfectionism. No typos. Sentences structured logically. Images placed just so. I am definitely harder on myself than anyone else. And as an Admin, I am not so much a writer as a proofreader. So in joining this blogging world of sharing something meaningful, I proof-read and then proof-read again, and then often save a post to my Drafts folder to languish indefinitely as I try a new topic.
I am sharing all this because I want my readers and followers to know that while I have stepped away recently, I am not gone. I’m working on mastering balance in my life.
I adore time spent with my husband. I enjoy gardening, cooking, home décor, camping, bird watching, Indie movies, and time spent with my dog. I want to continue learning guitar and playing songs with my hubby. I plan on joining him in his passion for photography as he has extra cameras and welcomes my company on his excursions. I want to create a hand-stitched poetry book with the help of my eldest, the artist who hand-stitches gorgeous tightly-bound papers together into beautiful books. I’d love to learn disc-golf with my youngest, visiting our nearby course. I intend to continue to work towards converting more space in our sunny backyard into growing more food. I want to offer meaningful work in the world through time spent volunteering. I want to get in better shape and do more yoga. And I shall continue my spiritual journey with time for reading insightful material such as the Bible and more, and deepening my meditative and prayer practices.
So, there it is. My journey towards balance. It is my goal, and my loving intention. I want to choose to turn off the computer (even when I don’t necessarily want to) and say goodbye for now to my online family, and spend time with my physically present family, and all the other interests that drive my passion.
In this way, rather than feeling spread too thin and offering less than my best, I can hold onto what matters most in my world, and offer the best of me, both through blogging and in my own life.
I deserve this, and so do you.