Holding Pain Kindly

06/10/2012

Hold your pain with the kindness of a mother holding a child. Say to yourself, “Ahh, there you are dear one. I see you. And that is why I am here.” ~ © Lisa A. McCrohan

Lisa’s blog was called Gems of Delight sharing about “Discovering the gems of everyday life”. This artwork was from an old article called Three ways to mother ourselves. She created this deeply insightful post back on May 14, 2012 and it touched a chord in me. I went looking for it to share this amazing poster and to encourage readers to visit her writings. Here are some tantalizing tidbits that helped me, as she teaches about radical acceptance:

We all have them. Parts of ourselves that we try to avoid looking at. Parts we deny are there. Parts we get furious with for being “weak” and “wanting attention.” The angry, guilty, ashamed, resentful, judgmental, rage-full, needy parts. How about the “no way in the world will I tell anyone about this” part?

As our beloved Thich Nhat Hanh says, treat them as a ‘dear one,’ as a mother holding and tending to and embracing her little one.   Yes, that’s right.  The parts you have been trying to push down for years, maybe decades, you embrace them and hold them like a mother holding her child.  And notice how you soften. Notice how these “dreaded” and feared parts of yourself lose some of their power as you hold them with kindness and in spaciousness.

Some pain I have been healing through had me remember this poster and the article she wrote weeks ago. This talented writer has been at this for a while and her archives go way back, inviting us in for browsing. Also recommended is her website Barefoot Barn “Follow what delights your heart and you’ll inspire the world.” (Note: now LisaMcCrohan.com)

16 responses to Holding Pain Kindly

  1. 

    Gina, Thank you for the connection. I will check out Lisa’s site. – Cathy

  2. 

    Reblogged this on persuaded2go and commented:
    Learned a bit more today about how to be kind to my (very) human heart.

  3. 
    persuaded2go 06/10/2012 at 9:36 am

    Thank you. I had no choice but to reblog this 🙂

  4. 

    Inspiring thoughts…I feel I make this mistake in which I there to support or iron out some wrongs in which my friends confide in me about. But when it comes to myself, I ignore/deny that there is something inside of me that needs “mothering”. This is a good reminder to be a bit selfish and think of ourselves once in awhile.

    • 

      Beautifully put Frances. Thanks for visiting and sharing a comment. I agree! This is a very good reminder. I shall add that taking care of our hearts, our own healing and care, rather than being what is commonly referred to as selfish – is actually self-honoring because as we take care of our own hearts and remain ‘filled to the brim’ with inner peace and love, then our very full hearts can overflow into the hearts of all those around us. So yes, let us all be a bit “self-honoring” and remember to take care of ourselves. It helps honor every one around us. Blessings, Gina

  5. 

    Oh Gina, you are melting my heart. It’s really interesting…Brian and I have devoted our lives to being about others, to offering kindness, to teaching our children compassion – for themselves, others, and this world. It just truly melts my heart when someone, without any prompting, offers us such kindness. I am truly humbled. Thank you, Gina, for these lovely words and for sharing this post so that we can all bring a bit more gentleness into our hearts and lives. Wow. I am tumbling over with gratitude. Love, Lisa

    • 

      Dear sweet Lisa – thank you! You and Brian are raising two lucky and amazing individuals, to be your children. Your poster of Dads Matter is so beautiful I want to reblog that too! And the pic of dad and daughter in Men Aren’t Stupid. Wow. Even as a single mom I knew God chose the dad for my sons. That a relationship as life-partners was not in the cards for us never kept me from encouraging many many visits and summers and holidays for them to spend together (even as it broke my heart to watch my children go). But I digress here… You, and your family life, and your obviously deep sense of spirituality and growth, has reached my heart and frequently contributed to my ongoing learning. I am reminded of a study done years ago that every letter to the editor of a newspaper or an organization was considered to be a voice speaking up for 100 people. Every letter/opinion = 100 people. I found that fascinating, and perhaps that is what I am doing. Speaking up and expressing the gratitude to you that so many are feeling and thinking. Let it be me, since this is what I do 🙂 I know I am speaking for many when I say God Bless your beautiful heart and writer’s gift. Love, Gina

  6. 

    Thanks for this post – I needed to hear those words today!

  7. 

    Perfect for me right now…. thank you for passing this on! Much Love Gina ..

  8. 

    Gina, excuse the comment in this old post of yours, but I had reblogged a post (in which i’ll also be commenting) from your lovely blog and this is just what I needed to read right now, after having yet another binge and feeling upset and disappointed in me.
    I must treat this binge and whatever caused it like a dear child, love it, listen to it and allow it to exist, because it does, inside me, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    Thanks for your AMAZING blog.

    • 

      Hello dear heart!!! What a wonderful comment to sign back on to find. I apologize for my delay in replying, as I’ve not turned my computer on in a week. I am delighted that this older post helped you Erika. More than I can say! Sometimes when I don’t feel like writing I wonder if I could just search through some of my older pieces and repost them and you have brought encouragement to consider doing that!
      Yes I agree Erika, let us all hold our wounded parts-of-self tenderly and gently, and forgive ourselves, as we accept and then rise above our older versions of ourselves. We can and will and do get better. This wonderfully rocky journey called Life continuously sculpts us into ever wiser and stronger beings.
      Your kind words of support warm my heart, and may I say: Right back at ya! I love your blog too!
      Love and hugs of support, Gina