What a morning I’ve had! It’s barely noon and I’ve had bouts of sobbing and heartbreak and serious contemplations about closing my blogs and giving up this bizarre and vulnerable endeavor (ah, my sensitive inner-child, I hear and comfort you).
After taking some time and calming down, I sat down to write about heartbreak and continually ‘growing up’ and a bizarre little poem of sorts insisted on being written out. Discombobulated feelings and the flow of unstructured words are truly wonderful bedfellows! Hence my previous post about Pondering Tears.
Now I return to do what I do ~ contemplations of life and learning and growing. How do miscommunications occur and why? Do I set myself up for self-sabotage? What does it all mean? What can I learn from this?
As I often do at times like these, I turn to the amazingly inspirational words found in the Bible. Right now I am remembering the Lord’s Prayer, especially “and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” [Matthew 6:12] And from a favorite gospel of Luke, today I recall “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” [Luke 6:37]
It is towards myself I am pondering forgiveness today. I have been indulging in some fierce self-berating for making a mistake, for falling down, for failing to remain honest to my highest and truest path of Love. Sigh. If I cannot forgive myself for falling down and making a mistake, how can I truly forgive others, since we are all reflections of each other? If I choose to see you as God sees you, as a perfectly imperfect and always beloved Child of a loving Universe, then I must also turn my eyes towards my own self with those same incredibly accepting and all-loving eyes. We are all students and this wonderful Earth is our classroom. I now choose to kindly pick myself up and brush myself off. Wipe off the tears and give myself a break. After all I know God loves me. So who am I to be hard on and berate this beloved Child of God?
My morning prayers fluctuate due to my celebration of variety and an abundance of beautiful prayers to recite. For quite a while I used to recite aloud the Prayer of St. Francis. Sometimes even while driving to bring me back to gentleness and calm. One note is that as an avid reader of Dr. Wayne Dyer, I enjoy his suggestion of adding the lower-case (little) ‘self’ to the concluding statement of “And it is in dying to self that we are born to Eternal Life”. I have not been saying it aloud lately and today I shall return to using these wise words by Saint Francis of Assisi to begin my mornings with a deep sense of being a beloved Child of God and doing all I can to share the love overflowing from my heart out into the world.