On Forgiveness

05/03/2012

Since my eyes opened this morning I have been pondering forgiveness. Is it an easy thing to do, like snapping our fingers? Can we just choose to basically forget? Can it really happen in an instant, once we make the decision? I want to believe that it can.

Last year when I had my vision prescription updated, suspicions of glaucoma surfaced and I was scheduled to a busy lab for more comprehensive tests. It is a relatively minor malady but I would rather not put chemical drops into my eyes for the rest of my life so during the long period of time until the appointment I did my best to not worry.

The book by Louise Hay “You Can Heal Your Life” has a reference section to look up nearly any illness and see her ‘probable cause’ and then her suggestions for thinking and meditating on a new thought pattern. As I flipped through her updated release to look up glaucoma, my mouth fell open at what I read. The probable cause could be ‘Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from long-standing hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.’ Instantly I memorized her suggested new thought pattern: ‘I see with love and tenderness’ and began repeating it over and over. Saying it internally on a regular basis helped it become like a mantra in my mind.

I acknowledge that I’m a sensitive person. Much less so than in my twenties or even thirties, but a bit thin-skinned nonetheless. During the weeks until my eye-testing, I’d notice the moments when I would lose focus (pun intended) of my intent to ‘see with love and tenderness’. Little things like poor service by a waitress and I would begin to feel irritation rise. Then my mantra would rise to the surface, and I would remember to see her with tenderness. It was me who was benefiting from this internal work. Driving amongst congested highway traffic within this huge city became less stressful for me as I saw the other drivers with love. Line-ups became opportunities to remember to see with love and tenderness, helping me arrive at the cashier with a smile.

When the day of the test came I made the conscious decision to remain calm. Either way, I’d be fine. But I did better on the tests than I had months earlier at the initial testing. The doctor stated there appeared to be no signs of the disease and basically I had a 20% chance of contracting it within the next five years. I can handle that!

I am not claiming the power of positive thinking did or did not do anything. However I know that spending weeks and weeks focusing on seeing the world with eyes of love and tenderness benefitted me greatly. I still have a ways to go to fully release my tendency to hold on to old hurts. I am not sure if the relationship between my once-beloved sister and I can ever be repaired. A family estrangement is a tragedy in this world of too-little community. I work on breathing and meditating with love towards her everyday. I do it for myself. And my eyes. Just in case.

Here is a poem I wrote many years ago. May I continue to learn from it myself…

 

FREEDOM

Attempts to control other people

Imprisons ourselves instead;

We tighten the chains that bind us

When our forgiveness is limited.

When we love with conditions

We cause our own misery;

By releasing expectations

We return to harmony.

To stay in the present moment

And let the future unfold;

Brings us peace and a sense of calm

As we fully release our hold.

Whether out loved ones stay or go

Is never for us to know;

So much more healing can love be

When we set each other free!

.

© Professions for Peace

10 responses to On Forgiveness

  1. 

    I absolutely love this! Brilliant! I shed a tear reading this as it’s very similar to me! 🙂 xxx

    • 

      Thank you so much Mathurini, you are delightful! I’m glad you found me because your blog is wonderful. I look forward to following your views on life and love and the adventure of it all.

  2. 

    So Beautiful GinaV. Your poem was beautiful.

    I am so glad our paths crossed today through wordpress. You speak words that I live and can relate to.

    I too have a sister – a twin sister – who I wish to breathe and meditate love towards. I too desire to repair our relationship because our birth together is priceless and so our relationship should be as well. It was a challenge but now the new me doesn’t see it as a challenge but a spiritual practice and a “conscious decision” to calm all the past experiences that wakes up when I see her and respond with spiritual consciousness. It is no longer a challenge but a spiritual journey to rekindle a loving relationship.

    You have peaked my interested to read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life”. Her name looks so familiar as well.

    ~ Thank you for your words today ~

    • 

      Lovely Hermelynda, your kindness and wisdom have lifted me even higher today. Your blog about inspired thought is important, worthy work. Way to go! And that we share a similar journey at this time regarding our sisters just reaffirms my recent discoveries as a new blogger that this can truly be an amazing medium for reaching out and building a sense of community at the same time as growing in our spirituality. I am sure you will enjoy that book. I know I am looking forward to enjoying all your wisdom that you so generously share on your blog. Bless your dear heart.

  3. 

    Thank you for your kind and encouraging words GinaV, I really appreciate it. Welcome to WordPress, I look forward to your future posts! I have the book saved in my to read list 🙂 Thank you again for sharing the book in your post. ~~ I wish you many blessings to come ~~

  4. 

    Wow, I am really loving your blog! This is great, I may look into that book you were reading, or simply think about the way I see things with my eyes. I notice that after doing Reiki meditations or sitting in the forest or, ideally, both, I can pay much more attention to the way my vision “feels” as it’s happening, if that makes any sense at all. I am intending to do that more, now with more confidence and an extra dose of love. This post is really touching, thank you!

    • 

      I am so thankful that you came over to this blog from my other one! Thank you so much Jennifer, for your kind comment and for sharing this insight. Your comment of how after your meditations you can better ‘feel’ your vision makes wonderful sense to me! I am delighted our paths have crossed and I am really loving your blog too. I cannot thank you enough! Hugs, Gina

  5. 

    Beautiful poem. Letting go of controlling others is definitely something I need to work on. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂