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Help Those in Grief

Some Suggestions To Help Those in Grief

I would sooner bring a blanket than flowers and cards to offer genuine comfort for someone in grief. A new cozy throw can say ‘it’s okay to be not okay’ without having to put it into words. As one who adores cards I have learned through my own grief that cards didn’t help (I read them, but not until much later). If you bring flowers, bring them IN a vase or be ready to find one and cut the flowers for it. Don’t let your grieving friend prep the flowers themselves because that’s not helping the situation; it’s making them work (of course they might love the distraction of doing it, so just be aware).

Bring them food but don’t expect it to be eaten right away. Offer it and if not wanted immediately, put it in their fridge. Bring sandwiches and fresh fruit for easy snacking, and small containers of casseroles or meals that can be heated later (label contents and add directions if needed). Small nutritious meals are the best but perhaps some decadent comfort foods can help get them to eat something. Also bring nutritious beverages like tea and juice (or good coffee, but it’s wise to avoid alcohol – in my experience anyways; hangovers just make everything worse).

Allow the silence. Words mostly fail during times of tragedy anyways but being nearby can help more than you may realize. Be there without fussing over them (unless of course that comforts them but for me and many others, please don’t fuss or be too busy). Let them cry if they need to, or sleep, or rant even. Just listen. Make some tea, watch something together or sit in silence. Read on your own, and let them stare or sleep. Perhaps even reading out loud to help them fall asleep on the couch. There’s tremendous healing to be found and comfort to be offered in just being with someone.

Pray. For yourself. For your friend who is in grief. For everyone in and around the situation. People you might know and those you’ve never met. Survivors who were there. The victims’ families and loved ones. Emergency responders and doctors. Everyone who’s been affected. Pray to find your connection with Source, with God. Whatever word you use and whether you turn to the scriptures or chime a bell and meditate deeply or spend time doing yoga or going for a walk. Whatever works to bring you closer in contact with the highest, brightest source of light and love within your heart, do that! Pray so that you may shine healing Love onwards and outwards. Radiate the biggest feelings of compassion you can generate. It’s important and it helps, I believe, more than we can comprehend or realize. Praying is one of the most essential things you can do to help after a tragedy.
Copyright © 2014 Gina ~ Professions for PEACE

“Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active.” ~Edith Hamilton

Click to view images on a Pinterest board I’ve compiled about grief

From an excellent article on helping the grieving at HelpGuide.org:
Comments to avoid when comforting the bereaved
▪ “I know how you feel.” One can never know how another may feel. You could, instead, ask your friend to tell you how he or she feels.
▪ “It’s part of God’s plan.” This phrase can make people angry and they often respond with, “What plan? Nobody told me about any plan.”
▪ “Look at what you have to be thankful for.” They know they have things to be thankful for, but right now they are not important.
▪ “He’s in a better place now.” The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.
▪ “This is behind you now; it’s time to get on with your life.” Sometimes the bereaved are resistant to getting on with because they feel this means “forgetting” his or her loved one. In addition, moving on is easier said than done. Grief has a mind of its own and works at its own pace.
▪ Statements that begin with “You should” or “You will.” These statements are too directive. Instead you could begin your comments with: “Have you thought about. . .” or “You might. . .”

Be the one who takes the initiative. There are many practical ways you can help a grieving person.
You can offer to:
▪ Shop for groceries or run errands
▪ Drop off a casserole or other type of food
▪ Help with funeral arrangements
▪ Stay in their home to take phone calls and receive guests
▪ Help with insurance forms or bills
▪ Take care of housework, such as cleaning or laundry
▪ Watch his or her children or pick them up from school
▪ Drive him or her wherever they need to go
▪ Look after their pets
▪ Go with them to a support group meeting
▪ Accompany them on a walk
▪ Take them to lunch or a movie
▪ Share an enjoyable activity (game, puzzle, art project)
Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm

Impressions on Children

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. ~Dr. Haim Ginott

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.

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Here are some fantastic one-page articles about teaching and encouraging kindness in children, even when they’re still toddlers. It’s really never too early to begin. May peace prevail. Namaste. Gina

8 Ways to teach kindness to toddlers and preschoolers, by Tabitha Studer at WhatToExpect.com
Kids and kindness: Can you teach compassion? by Holly Bennett at TodaysParent.com
Teaching Children Respect in 5 Minutes or Less, by Julie Hunt at SmartKids101.com

Care a Whole Awful Lot

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better. It’s not. ~Dr. Seuss

Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love,

which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing. ~Rumi

 

Ripples of Kindness

To the world you may be one person,

but to one person you may be the world. ~Bill Wilson

Here are two short videos that demonstrate the ripple effect that happens when we do good deeds. Let us all do good deeds, just for the sake of being kind. Remember, there are a lot of good people in the world. Unsung heroes are everywhere. Let’s endeavor to be an unsung hero ourselves, leading the way to a kinder world, one act of compassion at a time.

My deep gratitude to KindnessBlog.com for helping me find the first video “Unsung Hero” so that I may pass it along to even more people. The endless examples of kindness they gather and share on their blog not only lifts hearts and raises spirits, but the abundance shows there is no limit to examples of kindness. Let’s look for the good all around us and share about it. Let’s be the good.

Copyright © 2014 Gina ~ Professions for PEACE

All Are Safe Here

“The responsibility of tolerance lies with those who have the wider vision.” George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)

Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself. ~Robert Green Ingersoll (May 8, 1888)

[Images from Pinterest. Quote sources: Mr. Ingersoll here and Mr. Eliot here]

Be The Good

“One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, ‘I love you’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I appreciate you’, ‘I’m proud of you’… whatever you’re feeling. Send random texts, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it… cause a smile for someone else… and give plenty of hugs.”

~Steve Maraboli

Kind people bring out the kind in people.

Interconnectedness

O God, we are one with You. You have made us one with You. You have taught us that if we are open to one another, You dwell in us. Help us to preserve this openness and to fight for it with all our hearts. Help us to realize that there can be no understanding where there is mutual rejection. O God, in accepting one another wholeheartedly, fully, completely, we accept You, and we thank You, and we adore You, and we love You with our whole being, because our being is Your being, our spirit is rooted in Your spirit. Fill us then with love, and let us be bound together with love as we go our diverse ways, united in this one spirit which makes You present in the world, and which makes You witness to the ultimate reality that is love. Love has overcome. Love is victorious. Amen.
~Thomas Merton, his prayer from an informal address delivered in Calcutta, India, October 1968 [source]

 

Have Faith that we will have Peace

Some people are filled by compassion and a desire to do good, and some simply don’t think anything’s going to make a difference.

~Meryl Streep

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[Clicking on the panel of images opens the slideshow for larger viewing, saving, and sharing. Namaste]

The Reason For My Birth

In my recent post ‘The Great Peace March’ I shared a song that motivated me to learn how to make a lyrics video. To this day, even after hundreds of times listening to this song I still choke up. I love my family of humanity! We are all brothers and sisters. I especially enjoy how this part of the poetry in the song describes us as colorful reflections and parts of the whole wonderful world we share. 

Are you black like night or red like clay, are you gold like sun or brown like earth, grey like mist or white like moon? My love for you is the reason for my birth!


With gratitude to those who made these images, found online a while back. Unfortunately they didn’t put their names on it or else I would too. I’m getting better now at providing links [or at least sources] to images. That’s why, in the sidebar, I’ve put links to my Pinterest and Facebook locations. There’s an endless abundance of inspiring images to enjoy and share. My Facebook page is brand new so you’re invited to come in on the grassroots level and add ‘Like’ number three if you enjoy it! {LOL}
In the sidebar you’ll also see a link to my YouTube channel to enjoy these words mentioned above sung by Holly Near as well as other uplifting videos. May you enjoy. Namaste. Gina

Copyright © 2014 Gina ~ Professions for PEACE

All The Good You Can

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can. ~John Wesley

Endless Opportunities for Kindness

The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation is a wonderful organization who I’ve celebrated before and they deserve repeating. They generate ideas for ways that anyone can share acts of kindness. I’ve provided a link in this image to the page where these kind people have shared hundreds of ideas to help spark our own. May this list give us a great start, and may our visits to their site deepen the realization that the possibilities and opportunities for sharing kindness are practically endless.
Let’s be encouraged and encouraging! Each one of us can make a difference, each and every day. 

Related reading you may enjoy from a post I did celebrating this fantastic foundation:
http://professionsforpeace.com/2012/08/15/kindness-from-kids-of-all-ages/

BE Love

Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we’re so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is the supreme creative act. ~Ram Dass

The Great Peace March

source Facebook/PeaceFlash

source Facebook/PeaceFlash

Having been inspired by this song since the early nineties, I wanted to share it. However, after not being able to find it anywhere on YouTube, I decided to join, create my channel, and learn how to make a lyrics video.

While I am indeed a YouTube neophyte, I’m pleased with the result of this, my very first lyrics video! Of course if an Ad pops up you’ll need to click the ‘x’ to close it so you can read the lyrics.

It is my sincere wish that you will enjoy this inspiring song for world peace, written and performed by singer, songwriter, and activist Holly Near.
We will have peace!

You may also enjoy my post from last year with another incredible song for world peace. I discovered Ella’s Song through Holly Near’s cover of it on her 1990 album Singer In The Storm. In this post you can enjoy a YouTube recording being performed by the exceptionally talented group, Sweet Honey In The Rock:
http://professionsforpeace.com/2013/02/09/we-who-believe-in-freedom/

Enjoy Freedom and Allow it as well

“Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.” ~Voltaire

“It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” ~Thomas Jefferson

 

“If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.” ~John F. Kennedy

A Global Family

“From the inception of our country, it has been a mainstay of American consciousness that the fabric of our nation would be woven from the threads of myriad national and ethnic identities. We would be the melting pot of all nations. The vast majority of Americans are descendants of immigrants, yet we often act as though today’s immigrants don’t deserve what we do, that we have something to protect from their encroachment. It seems paradoxical to me that we would brag about our ancestors coming over on the Mayflower, yet condemn someone trying to do the very same thing today. Of course there are immigrants who abuse our system, just as there are people born here who abuse our system. The truth is that the majority of today’s immigrants bring with them an infusion of the same values that our ancestors personified, the values America is so sorely lacking. They are people willing to work hard for themselves and their families. Our children do not stand to be corrupted by their values so much as their children stand to be corrupted by ours.”
~ Marianne Williamson, Illuminata [chapter 'Prayers for the World']