I torment myself and recall
The first time we did meet
Amidst such joy and flying sparks
It now feels bittersweet.
I walk with heavy footsteps
And my heart does not feel light
I am wooden in the daytime
And far from peace at night.
I remember our first meetings
And the joy that I did feel
Foolishly I thought that I had found
Something that was for real.
I looked into your heart and eyes
And listened to each word
For sight or sound of evidence
That could be seen or heard,
That it was safe to open up
My heart and soul to you
That I would not end up the fool
Reeling, black and blue.
Thought I’d done my homework well,
I thought I was complete ~
So why does my heart feel broken
And shattered at my feet?
I have felt pain and loss before
And I learn from my past
I do the best that I can do
To learn some things can’t last.
I want to find my Life-Partner,
I’d hoped it could be you
But now I must heal once again
And know ‘At least I grew’.
Yet one thing worries me the most:
The hardening of my heart
I feel reluctance grow within
To even let love start.
It’s said a broken heart holds more,
New joy comes after grief;
I hope that when the time is right
I will turn over a new leaf.
© Gina’s Professions for P.E.A.C.E. 1993
Lines from this poem of mine, written nearly twenty years ago, have been running through my mind. In my older post ‘It’s So Romantic’ you’ll see how I have been blessed to have at last found my true soul mate. Regardless, my heart is urging me to share this old poem. There is something in these words that still bring me comfort, somehow. May we remember to turn over a new leaf, when the time is right. Blessings, Gina