NEW LEAF
I torment myself and recall
The first time we did meet
Amidst such joy and flying sparks
It now feels bittersweet.
I walk with heavy footsteps
And my heart does not feel light
I am wooden in the daytime
And far from peace at night.
I remember our first meetings
And the joy that I did feel
Foolishly I thought that I had found
Something that was for real.
I looked into your heart and eyes
And listened to each word
For sight or sound of evidence
That could be seen or heard,
That it was safe to open up
My heart and soul to you
That I would not end up the fool
Reeling, black and blue.
Thought I’d done my homework well,
I thought I was complete ~
So why does my heart feel broken
And shattered at my feet?
I have felt pain and loss before
And I learn from my past
I do the best that I can do
To learn some things can’t last.
I want to find my Life-Partner,
I’d hoped it could be you
But now I must heal once again
And know ‘At least I grew’.
Yet one thing worries me the most:
The hardening of my heart
I feel reluctance grow within
To even let love start.
It’s said a broken heart holds more,
New joy comes after grief;
I hope that when the time is right
I will turn over a new leaf.
© Gina’s Professions for P.E.A.C.E. 1993
Lines from this poem of mine, written nearly twenty years ago, have been running through my mind. In my older post ‘It’s So Romantic’ you’ll see how I have been blessed to have at last found my true soul mate. Regardless, my heart is urging me to share this old poem. There is something in these words that still bring me comfort, somehow. May we remember to turn over a new leaf, when the time is right. Blessings, Gina
Reblogged this on Milenanik3's Blog and commented:
As Gina,the author herself said:May we remember to turn over a new leaf,when time is right.Amazing poem of Her,gave me comfort with my own decisions.May You all be blessed,specially You Gina!Thank You for sharing this amazing poem with all of us.
Thank you so kindly Milena ~ that you enjoyed this enough to share on your blog. Hugs to you! Gina
Beautifully written. Glad you found that soul mate. I’m sure this poem will touch someone else going through similar struggles as yours when you wrote it.
Thank you so much for this lovely comment, and it is my dearest hope if it may help console someone. Thanks again.
Touching and honest poem~ Deeply Felt, as I too (and many others, I’m sure) have experienced exactly what you went through~ In fact I’m still in the healing mode from my last wife and still Love her Dearly~ I have been single and celibate for over two years and even though I get to spend Way More time with my 6 children, I DO miss the sweetness of relationship and especially the cuddling~ I am happy that you found Love again~ Blessings~
Thank you so kindly for this honest and dear comment. Especially coming from as profoundly talented a poet as yourself, I am deeply humbled and honored by your kind words. I am ever so thankful to have at last found love, and that is my dearest wish for you as well. Love and Light, Gina
Thank you Dear Heart~ Meanwhile, like you, I’ll Happily direct this Love to all of my Amazing kids until such a time when Love/relationship once again blesses my doorstep~ Love & Light,
Satprem
Well put Satprem, to overflow our love of Life and Spirit into the hearts of our beloved children. No need to seek that which will find us in due time. Your comments and wisdom are a treasure. Love and Light to you Dear Soul, Gina
Truly Blessed to have met you here~ Namaste’
I feel the same way ~ it’s not every day we meet someone from our ‘family’ a kindred spirit. Namaste.
We human creatures do find comfort in the road we have traveled to bring us where we are. We learn about ourselves through the painful times, and perhaps even begin to believe in ourselves in new ways. I’m very happy that you have found your soul mate. Blessings, Mark
Hello dear Mark, your wise words ring wonderfully true. Especially how through tough times we ‘even begin to believe in ourselves in new ways’. I love that. Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I celebrate the fact that finding our Great Love of our Life can most certainly happen later in life. Blessings, Gina
Gina, i love your poem, its message will still move many for it will stand the test of time! Its message is true am glad you shared it! I remember four months before i joined the military back in March 1977 and met and married my wife in June of that year. I wrote a similar poem, and soon i made a change in my life and received a blessing. I might put it on my site today. You will probably feel it just like i did with yours! Your poem is awesome my friend!
Wendell, dear poet, how kind your words are! They mean so much. Thank you kindly for the support, and I would love to enjoy your poem of a similar time you went through. I like how you wrote here that you ‘made a change’ in your life and ‘received a blessing’. I know about that as well my friend. With gratitude, Gina
I enjoyed your poem though it is sad. Hope there is no hardening of heart but the opening of it. As you say in your mottos ‘Love like you’ll never be hurt.’ Greetings and Blessings.
Thank you so much for this comment! And luckily – no – I did not allow my heart to harden
but a terrible hurt had me worried that fear of pain would cause me to resist love in the future. My faith, and optimistic nature, got me through those tough times. Blessings, Gina
Raw and honest… terrific poem.
Thank you, Genie, for this comment. It means a lot.
Very expressive. I know of that lonely search. Through your words I feel as if I traveled the same path.
Thank you for the comment Kim, and I am touched if my words helped show our similar path. Namaste.
very beautiful poem. from the heart
Thank you so much for your kind comment. I checked your blog, but I guess you are closing it? Going to self-hosted is great! Good for you. I shall have to watch for your new site
I find the depth of your thinking resonates in the recesses of my heart, Gina. I especially liked, “It’s said a broken heart holds more, New joy comes after grief;” because it’s reminiscent of the parable of the fig tree – - – how much fruit it bore after being pruned. Broken hearts and grief are our pruning process. They represent the depths that allow us to appreciate the mountain tops. Bless you for posting this. You hoped that “… when the time is right, I will turn over a new leaf.” You did, didn’t you? And if you had not given up that “hardening of [your] heart,” you never would have found the intended “Life-Partner” who fills your loving heart today. Ah, life is such a journey, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing! Love is all around… ;o)
Jan as always your very wise and very loving comments, like this one, warm and delight my heart! Yes I cherish the fact that I did NOT allow my heart to harden, although it was very hurt. Ahh… happy endings, don’t you just love ‘em? Love and Hugs, Gina
beautiful feeling said so eloquently
Thank you! I truly appreciate your comment.
This poem hits very close to home for me right now, Gina. Thanks for sharing it.
Sameer ~ it is good to hear from you! I am pleased this poem touched your heart. Be well friend.
Beautiful! Your post reminded me that leaves, like our feelings, often go through many changes. They can turn to brilliant colors as temperatures change and passions flare. And if the feelings turn sad, like leaves, they eventually fade or fall away, giving to the tree and to ourselves the chance to survive the hard times, the space for new leaves or relationships, and the nourishment, growth, and understanding from what came before. I believe it is wise to trust the lessons that the trees and their leaves offer to us every day.
Russ
Russ, you and your comments continue to amaze me! Especially believing that it is wise to ‘trust the lessons that the trees and their leaves offer to us every day’. One of my favorite poems that I wrote myself I’ve been planning to save until Autumn since it is about the changing of the leaves and the wisdom that trees are trying to teach us. But everything you’ve said in your comment here is parallel with what I was trying to express in that as-yet-unshared poem. Thank you for always provoking thought! ~your friend, Gina